When my daughter helped me identify my bias

Recently, I started telling stories of real-life achievers as bedtime stories to my daughter Riya. I felt really nice doing that. I despise the fairy tales and myths. So, by telling these stories,  I felt I am doing something right for my daughter. So far, I have told her stories of evolution by Darwin, Neil Amstrong on the moon, Sir. Edmond Hillary and Tensing Norgay climbing Mt. Everest etc. I felt happy as I am not biasing my young daughter’s mind with stupid stories. However, something interesting happened yesterday which changed my perception.

When I was putting Riya to sleep yesterday night, I told her the story of astronaut Sunita Williams. She was happy listening to the story and was keen on learning more. I accidentally realised this was the first story with a woman protagonist that I have told my daughter.  I told my wife about the same when Riya turned around and asked me, “Yes, you always tell me only stories of boys. Why don’t you tell me girl stories pa?”. It is quite possible that she too realised when I told my wife but it was interesting that she noted it. The incident made me realise my unconscious bias. The first 5 achievers I named were all male.

I wanted to write about this incident immediately. As a parent, it is extremely important for us to make a conscious attempt to provide a balanced perspective. Kids learn from what we say.  I wonder if Riya would have thought achievements of the highest order are restricted to men or her father only recognises achievements of men. Either of that is not what I had in mind or wanted to instil in her. It is time for me to change. I have started doing research of loads of women achievers across different fields. This was another realisation that I had thanks to my daughter.